It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
We need to get me chipped asap
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
