nutella sex= disaster
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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