It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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