I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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