Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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