omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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