fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
it's like heaven, but drunker
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
