the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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