a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
