you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Operation Purity has been aborted
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
