Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize