i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Houston, we have a blender
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
