It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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