You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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