Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
