I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
