i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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