I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old