mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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