Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
