I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
