So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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