grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
