his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
