Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
