I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
So squirting runs in the family.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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