3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
