Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
