it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
