I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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