I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
