you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
