I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
