I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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