You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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