he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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