3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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