I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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