You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
