I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
