so explain again why im purple
no
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
