Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
