Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
