did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
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Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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