i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
