There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
