playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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