Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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