when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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