i think my mom watched the whole time
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize