I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
