I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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