I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
