it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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