Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
