I need help removing her.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
