Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
