we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
