Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
